I Am Still a Mom

This Sunday, we celebrate Mother’s Day. This will be the first Mother’s Day where I am left to “celebrate” alone…in a world without my sweet baby girl.

While Kyra was taken from us too soon, I am still a Mom – and I am still Kyra’s Mom. This weekend, please take a moment and think about the parents who have lost their little boys or girls – when they were 28 months or 28 years old. We are still moms and dads, and, we still love our babies.

Being Kyra’s Mom is and always will be an honor. It was never a job or a title. For me, it was the highest privilege I was ever granted. I am thankful for every moment I had with her, and every moment I spent with her I cherish and hold onto tightly.

Being a Mom doesn’t stop once you are separated. I love Kyra more and more every day. I feel her in my soul with every breathe I take and with every tear I shed.

I worry about her. Is she ok? Is she scared? Is she happy? Does she know what happened? And, I talk to her all the time – both out loud and in my head. I tell her what I have seen and done. I tell her when I see her friends in town and tell her what they are up to. I read to her. I pray to her and for her, for my family, and for others, in the hopes that something like this never happens again. And, I always ask God to continue to watch over her and protect her.

I am, and will always, do things for her. From buying gifts at the toy store for her to blowing kisses in memory of her, to speaking in front of large groups to tell her story. I’m always thinking of Kyra.

My mind wanders… Would she know what Mother’s Day was this year? Would she have made a painting in nursery school? How would we have spent the day together this year? What things would she be doing now that would make me laugh?

On this Mother’s Day, I have a special request: Always remember life is a precious gift. Know how lucky you are to have your babies in your life. If you are a parent, think about the last time you were frustrated by something that one of your kids did. Take that moment, and think of me and Kyra. I would give anything to have Kyra with me right now. Hug them because you can.

This Mother’s Day, I will love Kyra. I will appreciate Kyra. I will be thankful for Kyra. And, I will miss Kyra tremendously.

Happy Mother’s Day.

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